September 2012
2 posts
Me: “I started a crafting blog!”
Him: “I really can’t get into that.”
Even boyfriend has limits
“I’m not going to get brunch with you every weekend.”
Long term relationship
March 2012
1 post
“Also, are you a scientologist? Or was I just really high?”
Confusion
February 2012
2 posts
“You’re trying to feminize me again.”
On changing bed sheets after two months.
“I’m not watching that show with you, it’s just full of Harry Potter rejects.”
- On Downton Abbey
January 2012
49 posts
“RESPOND TO ME. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A LITTLE BITCH.”
- OK Cupid instant chat wooing.
“Ooh ok thanks so Mich!”
- appreciation text after being allowed to text out of a date last minute
“Well yeah, of course I don’t think you like being a woman. That’s why you’re a feminist.”
- penis envy conclusions
“Introduce me to your sister. She’s way hotter than you.”
- apparently acceptable statement when your sister is way hotter than you.
“Over this in 8 seconds. Yep. PEACE.”
- infuriation over not being positively responded to on fb chat.
“You go get tested and then we’ll know if I have anything.”
- STD precautions.
“Know of any pretty, single girls in your program that you could set me up with?”
- question posed to a pretty single girl.
“Oh, I’ll only marry a virgin.”
- guy who wasn’t a virgin.
“I really hope you can make it because I’d love to see you again. Tickets are $20 and we only accept cash.”
- 2nd date request?
“So you don’t wanna have sex then?”
- earnest response to being informed he was the worst date ever.
“As long as you don’t puke all over my car, I won’t think it’s that annoying.”
- the non-drinker
“Actually, I’m involved in {insert feminist organization that has never been heard of} so I play a big part in that community.”
- the one upper pt. 2
“Oh, you have a blog. I’m actually writing a novel which is a big project since you can’t just write little posts everyday.”
- the one upper
“Ugh can we take a raincheck please? Now i have a sore throat and I’m scared I’m getting sick…”
-FB messaging in sick to a 3rd date
“I bet you can eat a lot. Like, you can probably eat 4 slices of pizza.”
- Winner of the first impression rose
Him: “You want to get married? Marriage is for gays.”
Me: “What? No, it actually isn’t.”
“You’d be handsome if you weren’t so dark.”
- Racism ruining romance
“It is.”
- Answer to “Ok, you can put it in.”
“When did you lose your virginity? I was raped but I’ll tell you about that after you answer.”
- blind date chats
“Not everything is a feminist issue!”
- date unhappy with negative “Twilight” statement
“I have to remind myself that guys actually hit on you.”
- guy friend statement
“Date locally, flirt globally.”
- long distance commitment
“I just keep thinking, ‘When will she stop talking?’”
- pre-hook up wishes
“Things would have worked out if you had played your role better.”
- dissatisfaction with unfulfilled female expectations
“I do too go down on girls! Other girls.”
- performance defense
“Come on, just show us your boobs.”
- platonic friendship requests
“You’ve made an impression. We’ll see what happens.”
- setting reasonable expectations
“Ah, I keep forgetting how young you are.”
- calm reaction to “Why are you jerking off on me while I’m asleep!?”
Guy: “There’s a lotta things about me you don’t know anything about. Things you wouldn’t understand. Things you couldn’t understand. Things you shouldn’t understand.”
Me: “Um, are you dumping me by paraphrasing Pee-wee’s Big Adventure?”
“I want to feed you.”
- 5AM FB Message
“How could I not be in love with her? She’s perfect. No offense.”
- first date honesty
“Yo girl, look.” Flings hunk of fresh raw beef up at wall, points to black dot in a different spot, proudly proclaims, “Threw that up there 3 months ago.”
- courtship at the meat packing plant, part 2.
“Your body should be illegal”
- Keeping the streets safe from one night stands
“It’s not in my blood to accept that.”
- ex bf reaction to news of new bf.
“You said you aren’t a model. What are your measurements exactly?”
- pre blind date fact checking
“We don’t need an anniversary.”
- Long term relationship
“Hey, check this out.” - shoves a ball of raw ground beef into his mouth.
- courtship at the meat packing plant
“Oh, no. We can’t tell people that we met online.”
- OK Cupid shame
“It’s weird having sex with someone I feel a real connection with.”
- pillow talk
“You don’t need to lose 20 pounds. 10 would be enough.”
- positive body image support
“Sorry I didn’t call you back this weekend, I was hanging out with my grandma.”
- Scheduling conflict
“I just don’t want you to get any ideas.”
- Right hand ring leading to breakup.
“You’re attractive in this group of women.”
- compliment
“I used to think you were this hot babe until I got to know you.”
- Guy commenting on first impressions.
“I love you. Umm, I mean I like you.”
- Instant regret
