Cop That Pill

Me: “I started a crafting blog!” Him: “I really can’t get into...

Sun, 09 Sep 2012 15:17:41 -0400

Me: “I started a crafting blog!”

Him: “I really can’t get into that.”

Even boyfriend has limits

“I’m not going to get brunch with you every weekend.” Long term relationship

Sun, 09 Sep 2012 15:15:42 -0400

“I’m not going to get brunch with you every weekend.”

Long term relationship

“Also, are you a scientologist? Or was I just really high?” Confusion

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 16:29:24 -0400

“Also, are you a scientologist? Or was I just really high?”

Confusion

“You’re trying to feminize me again.” On changing bed sheets after two months.

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 13:26:37 -0500

“You’re trying to feminize me again.”

On changing bed sheets after two months.

“I’m not watching that show with you, it’s just full of Harry Potter...

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 13:23:44 -0500

“I’m not watching that show with you, it’s just full of Harry Potter rejects.”

- On Downton Abbey

“RESPOND TO ME. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A LITTLE BITCH.” - OK Cupid instant chat...

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:36:05 -0500

“RESPOND TO ME. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A LITTLE BITCH.”

- OK Cupid instant chat wooing.

“Ooh ok thanks so Mich!” - appreciation text after being allowed to text out of a date...

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:35:12 -0500

“Ooh ok thanks so Mich!”

- appreciation text after being allowed to text out of a date last minute

“Well yeah, of course I don’t think you like being a woman. That’s why...

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:30:11 -0500

“Well yeah, of course I don’t think you like being a woman. That’s why you’re a feminist.”

- penis envy conclusions

“Introduce me to your sister. She’s way hotter than you.” - apparently acceptable...

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:26:00 -0500

“Introduce me to your sister. She’s way hotter than you.”

- apparently acceptable statement when your sister is way hotter than you.

“Over this in 8 seconds. Yep. PEACE.” - infuriation over not being positively responded...

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:23:39 -0500

“Over this in 8 seconds. Yep. PEACE.”

- infuriation over not being positively responded to on fb chat.

“You go get tested and then we’ll know if I have anything.” - STD precautions.

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 13:07:50 -0500

“You go get tested and then we’ll know if I have anything.”

- STD precautions.

“Know of any pretty, single girls in your program that you could set me up with?” -...

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 12:52:22 -0500

“Know of any pretty, single girls in your program that you could set me up with?”

- question posed to a pretty single girl.

“Oh, I’ll only marry a virgin.” - guy who wasn’t a virgin.

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:47:38 -0500

“Oh, I’ll only marry a virgin.”

- guy who wasn’t a virgin.

“I really hope you can make it because I’d love to see you again. Tickets are $20 and we...

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:35:19 -0500

“I really hope you can make it because I’d love to see you again. Tickets are $20 and we only accept cash.”

- 2nd date request?

“So you don’t wanna have sex then?” - earnest response to being informed he was...

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:33:29 -0500

“So you don’t wanna have sex then?”

- earnest response to being informed he was the worst date ever.

“As long as you don’t puke all over my car, I won’t think it’s that...

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:31:31 -0500

“As long as you don’t puke all over my car, I won’t think it’s that annoying.”

- the non-drinker

“Actually, I’m involved in {insert feminist organization that has never been heard of}...

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:30:49 -0500

“Actually, I’m involved in {insert feminist organization that has never been heard of} so I play a big part in that community.”

- the one upper pt. 2

“Oh, you have a blog. I’m actually writing a novel which is a big project since you...

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:28:53 -0500

“Oh, you have a blog. I’m actually writing a novel which is a big project since you can’t just write little posts everyday.”

- the one upper

“Ugh can we take a raincheck please? Now i have a sore throat and I’m scared I’m...

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:27:50 -0500

“Ugh can we take a raincheck please? Now i have a sore throat and I’m scared I’m getting sick…”

-FB messaging in sick to a 3rd date

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 09:42:52 -0500

“I bet you can eat a lot. Like, you can probably eat 4 slices of pizza.”

- Winner of the first impression rose